This piece is the final one of a short series in which I’ve documented my experience of putting myself on a phone diet.
Sunday 19 February
It’s been a few days since I finished the diet. The first of this My Phone Diet series is scheduled to publish on Substack as I write this reflection. I wanted to put a little space between myself and the diet before deciding how I want to go forward from here.
Over the last couple of days, I’ve been using my phone more than I had been on the diet - but very cautiously! The diet was only for a week so I can’t get complacent. I don’t want to allow the habits I set out to break to sneak back; I don’t want to squander the benefits I’m feeling for having distanced myself from my phone.
My mind feels...cleaned up. It’s more spacious, less cluttered in there and I feel more relaxed as a result. The more I use my phone, the more overstimulated and anxious I feel. The less I use my phone, the calmer and more settled I feel. It has been a relief not to always be checking my phone.
I’ve always been selective about what I consume but, before embarking on the diet, my brain had become too saturated to actually do anything with the ideas and information I was gleaning from emails, memes and podcasts. I expect that using my phone less will allow me to actually make use of the smaller volume of content I do consume. Having time to ponder them and not being in a rush to scroll onto the next thing might mean I jot down ideas and follow through on them.
My compulsive reach for my phone has reduced dramatically since beginning the diet and, when I do reach for it automatically, I catch myself before entering my PIN. It feels good to have greater control of myself.
Interestingly, I didn’t check Instagram once during the diet nor have I since the diet ended.
What My Phone Diet Taught Me
Boredom is far more tolerable than I thought. Using mindfulness to be present prevents boredom and can make unfilled moments rather pleasant. Boredom is an opportunity to decompress.
Doing things I don’t really want to do on my phone (such as checking email and Instagram) keeps me from doing the things I do want to do (such as learning Te Reo and reading).
I can get to sleep without listening to a podcast.
Walking without listening to a podcast or book allows my mind to wander. It shows me what’s on top and my brain settles as I walk.
Keeping my phone out of reach reduces my impulse to use it unnecessarily and having to use my laptop to access things makes me more intentional about doing so.
While I’m cleaning is probably the best time for me to listen to a podcast or audiobook.
I know, none of these are enormous revelations but I needed to experience the truth of them for myself by doing the diet. Now, I need clear, black-and-white rules to stick to going forward because the nature of addiction is that, if you give it an inch, it’ll take a mile.
My New Phone Habits (Rules, Really)
Leave my phone out of reach whenever possible. Leave it at home when I go on a walk.
Continue to only access email, social media and video on my laptop and tv.
Only listen to podcasts and audiobooks while doing longer stretches of housework (not, for instance, just to hang the washing) for a maximum of 90 minutes a day. (Note to self, 90 minutes is a limit, not a target!).
While driving, cooking, washing dishes or doing creative projects, I can listen to music.
Walk and weed the garden in silence.
If I’m struggling to sleep, try falling asleep without listening to anything first. If I really can’t get to sleep, I can listen to a guided visualisation.
Use speakers instead of earbuds when possible (to protect my hearing).
As valuable as podcasts and audiobooks are, over the years, they’ve unfortunately squeezed listening to music out of my life. In my teens and twenties, I listened to music compulsively, in the same way that I listened to spoken content before the diet. Like podcasts and audiobooks, music has value to offer which is why it features in these new habits but I’ve put limits in place to reduce the chance of becoming dependent on music to fill the gaps. I want to get bored sometimes.
My phone still tempts me. I can see it’s a choice and a discipline to stay on this path of more moderate use. Already, I’ve caught myself considering breaking my new rules “just this once” but I know the old habits I want to break are still patterned in my brain and each time I choose differently makes it more likely that my new habits will stick.
A Final Word
I’m no productivity or habits geek but the reality is that our habits determine the quality of our lives. It’s easy to underestimate the difference being intentional about our habits makes but even tiny changes can have big results. Questioning which habits work for us and which ones interfere with our lives and being willing to experiment with them is a powerful way to learn about ourselves and make significant improvements to our lives.
What’s true for you?
(Prompts for your journal or the comments)
What resonated with you and what ruffled you as you read this My Phone Diet series?
Is there anything you’d like to change about your own relationship with your phone?
What do you think you might gain from using your phone more intentionally?
And that concludes the My Phone Diet series. I hope you’ve found it valuable in some way. I’ll resume my usual pattern of publishing on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month.
Look out for my next piece, Our Family Screentime Experiment, on Sunday 5th March. Relatively True is not a publication about device use, it’s just a topic that’s been on my mind of late! Writing on different topics is also coming soon.
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Congratulations on pushing through those uncomfortable moments and completing all 7 days of your phone diet! I hope you enjoy rediscovering some of your favourite tunes from the past and discovering some new favourites, now that music is becoming a part of your daily routines. xx